Yours Mine and Ours

For a second I want to get on marriage. When you're single what's yours is yours and what's mine is mine. Like Beyonce said "Everything you own is in the box to the left." We can share but only certain things. When you get married, it's a whole different ball game. You have to share things you never thought you would share and yes, that does include your Cheerios. The reason I say this is because the "that's yours and that's mine" act gets old real quick. It looks dumb when you have to ask your wife can you have some of her yogurt or you have to ask your husband can you use his power drill. And finances... Lord have mercy. I understand if you want your little side bank account but you two do need a joint account. The reason you two got married is to become one soul and that means taking what's yours and theirs and making it ours. Trust is what you need in a marriage. If you keep saying that's my money your spouse is not going to like that and they will feel like they're just your roommate splitting bills with you and occasionally getting some romance. Don't let your marriage reach that point. Before you get married, know what kind of debt and financial stability you got and know what kind of debt and financial stability they got so there will be no surprises. When you get married you take on more than just a soul mate. You take EVERYTHING. So treat your spouse like this is ours. Prenups. You knew I was going there. I personally don't believe in them because it's like you're telling me that you are not sure our marriage will last for a lifetime and this agreement is your safety net. I'm not all about that. If you are not sure about your marriage, simply don't get married. I mean come on, how many old couples do you know have a prenup in their marriage? I don't know any. You know why? Because back in the day people built marriage based on love. Now we got people getting married because they like the idea of being married or they don't want to be alone or they know their spouse has money and they will be taken care of. Before you get married, consider the values you are marrying for and then take that step. If it's not enough, don't go there.

Stand By Me

Now you know that people can talk. So don't act ignorant if lies start floating around about you and your sweetie. What you need to do is stand by your sweetie. If the lies say they are cheating, you sweetie is innocent until proven guilty. It doesn't matter what type of relationship you're in, 9 times out of 10 somebody doesn't want you together and is looking for that window of opportunity to break you guys up. Well trust issues can help this jealous snake get their job done so you need to be sure to trust them with your whole heart. Don't be searching their personals because you are not the FBI, you don't have a probable cause and you definitely don't have a search warrant. When you search because you don't trust your sweetie you almost always find exactly what you're looking for. That's why I tell people if something sneaky is going on I'm not going searching for it because things have a way of coming to light so sit and be patient and things will work out to my benefit. Now look if you got one of those fake friends, honey you better watch out because they will take you boo. I don't care if they all smiley in your face one day, I'm telling you if they want your boo, they will take your boo. You gotta keep your eyes peeled for sneaky people like that because most likely they will stop at nothing. So when you first get into a relationship, you have just stepped onto the battlefield so suit up and be ready to fight. Just don't fight your sweetie, stand by them.

Taking the Good With the Bad

Relationships are fun and it's nice to have fun so you can have good times to look back on. But everybody has a past because no one is perfect and in that past there is some baggage. Whether it's a little or a lot you have to be able to take their baggage and they have to take yours. If you know you're not willing to handle what your sweetheart comes with then you don't need to bee with that person. But one thing to remember is to never expect to find somebody who is all sun and rainbows because I guarantee something is wrong. I don't mean they got 2 kids and stabbed their ex 15 times, walking around with two strikes on their record. Maybe they cheated on someone before or they have a slight anger issue. Baggage is baggage, we all got some because we all have made mistakes so you have to realize that if you want someone to take in your baggage, you have to be willing to drop some guards and take in someone else's baggage. It's a part of life and if you want someone you can't expect Mr. Perfect or Miss Prim and Proper.

The Single, the Brave, and the Patient

Today's post is dedicated to those of you are single. We want someone that we can hold on to through the hard times. Someone to make us light up when they call. And most importantly someone to have adventures with. But eligible bachelors and bachelorettes just don't come raining out the sky so we must wait and wait and wait until the day comes when that very special one comes along. The saying is very true that we must learn to love ourselves before we can allow someone to love us. Sometimes we get so wrapped up into wanting someone that we forget to appreciate ourselves without having someone. We immediately think something must be wrong with us, my friend Lynn has a man, my friend Johnny has a girl, my friend Jen has a nice girl, my friend Brad has a nice man. Why on earth don't I have anybody? That's when you have to stop looking and let that person come to you. Also embrace any opportunity to meet new people. You never know when your special person is sitting next to you. Also try to be sociable even in the most awkward situations because coming off as closed minded or closed in gives potential dates a red flag that you might not be single and you so are. Last but not least be patient. Never give up the hope that you can be the one to live happily every after. It might not be today or tomorrow, may not even be next week but they are somewhere wondering the same thing about you. Thinking to themselves will I ever find them. Your other half is somewhere, you just gotta keep the faith that one day you two will join up in eternal happiness. But for now enjoy being single and enjoy yourself.