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The art of flirting

by Dawn H. Swinnie

For certain people flirting is hard and for others, flirting comes naturally. It's an art so it's easy to be talented in that area but the talent can be obtained by anyone who wishes to reach for it. Guys have different flirting styles than women and the only way the flirting styles can mesh together is if they're on the same level.
If a guy is interested he will show you within seconds of seeing or meeting you. Most of the time, if a girl catches a guy's eye and she is not interested, she will expect the cheesy pick up line and then nicely turn you down. But if she didn't catch your eye and you walk up to her wit that cheesy line, you are inclined to get declined and possibly embarrassed. Girls like different so I will help you be different without being corny.
You see a girl sitting at a table by herself and you're thinking of a million things to say to her but nothing seems to be good enough. Don't say any one-liners! We hate those. Instead, go over to her and say this "Excuse me, that is a very nice scent you have on. May I ask what it is?" Please remember to only ask if you smell a scent on her. If you don't smell nothing then she might look at you like you're crazy or she may be flattered that her natural scent smells like perfume. So here's what you say if you don't smell a scent on her. "Excuse me, are you from around here? Because I'm a little lost." Now this line doesn't work on all girls but if she's interested she just might show you to wherever you need to go whether you really need help or not.
Women flirt by using props. It's like we act and the guy is the guest star with no rehearsed lines. We might drop something just to see if you will help us pick it up. We fake illnesses, fake distraught, cry for no reason, pretty much anything so you will notice us. Those techniques still work on guys but some guys are starting to notice a pattern. We women have got to come up with something new. Guys like teaching girls things they are really good at. If he is playing football, ask him to teach you. If he's surfing ask him does he give personal surf lessons. Don't stick around if he's nicely turning you down, chances are he's nicely telling you he has a girlfriend or he is not interested in you. Just casually move on to the other fish in the sea.
I'm sorry to tell you this guys but women will not give you the easy way out when you flirt with her. Every woman has her own way of being talked to so the same line doesn't work on all women. What you need to do is find out something to compliment her on. All women love compliments, I haven't found one women who doesn't and you can't go wrong with one or two of them. But you become a freak when you are showering her with them.
I was at a youth church event and this guy came up to me and asked me what my name was and I told him. Then he said I have a beautiful name and I thanked him. He could have stopped there but he said I like what you have on and I thanked him. Then he said my shoes were pretty then he said I had a nice purse. I started to get freaked out. When he saw I wasn't into him, he immediately went to my best friend beside me and did the same thing.
Guys that guy is an awesome example of a bad flirter. Women like being singled out. Make them feel like you noticed them out of every women in the room. Hold their gaze, don't compliment their friends but acknowledge that they're there. Don't look at other women pass by while you are conversing with her. If you are interested let her know through your gestures, through your tone and words.
Women, guys like the helpless maid stories but they also like the adventurous girl. They like to be the one with the information that you want to know. It helps them express their manliness and it will help you because he will do more flirting giving you time to flirt back on his terms. The good thing about guys is if he's into you and you notice him and say something to him, you can say almost anything nice and he will flirt back. But that doesn't work all the time so watch what you say.
Flirting is not a game, it an art. Just like when artists put their work in galleries so people can buy them, flirting works just like that. There could be hundreds of pieces of art work and a person could stop at one in particular that they think is the best piece of artwork they had ever seen. They will make a connection with that art because they can see that art hanging in their dining room. Just like flirting, only one person in the room that you want to make a connection with. You can see yourself dating that person so you go for it it with smoothness and authenticity. Don't let him/her slip away, they could be the one.

For The Guys: 10 Signs She is Not Interested

by Dawn H. Swinnie

April 22, 2010

All women are different and we are all complex creatures. But when we are disinterested in something or someone, we all say and do some of the same things. There are 10 ways to figure out if she likes you or not. I have given each sign a name so go with me on this. This does not mean all girls with this name will act like this. These are made up names and have not particular significance with the sign.

DEBORAH: I call this sign the Deborah because it's the most clear sign of the ten. Deborah may get a bad first impression of you and she will completely shut down any motive to have fun with you. She will not try to make conversation with you. She will not laugh at your corny jokes. And she will definitely not bring up a second date. Before the night is over you will have to convince Deborah that you are right for her and that you both got off on the wrong foot.

SALENE: You may not want to have a very long date with Salene if you are a sensitive person. Salene will find every way to make you her last priority. If the waiter comes, she might try to strike up conversation with him about the specials. If another guy walks buy she might stare at him until he's out of sight. That would be her wishing she was with him instead of you. It would be hard to bring Salene to your attention but you can try to with something exciting for the two of you such as dancing or bowling after dinner

KARI: Kari will look you in the eye. Show an interest in what you are saying and smile politely. She is quite the charming lady but she's so good that you will not even know that she's not interested until the end of the date. She will not give you her number and if she does, it's fake. This is her way of saying that you're nice but she never wants to see you again. If you're good enough, you can probably salvage the night with a memorable goodbye but 95% of the time, it's best to just take one for the team.

AMY: You will never even know that things didn't work out so well between you and Amy because she will not show it. She will go out with you, let her take you home, maybe even leave you with a good night kiss. But somewhere between that night and the next morning, she has decided that you are just not for here. So she will go on and be your friend but don't expect anything else in the future.

TESS: Tess is tricky. She already knows she's not interested but she is getting a free meal and she didn't make plans for her Friday night so she decided to settle for a date with you. You do

have the entire date to wow her with your awesomeness but 9 times out of 10, you will not even know that she's not interested.

BIANCA: Bianca loves her phone. She has a lot of contacts therefore, she gets tons of calls and texts everyday. Bianca will most likely answer a call or text if she is not interested in you. She will tell you it's important when it's not and she will not think twice about what you think of her rudeness. There is a 50% chance you salvage this by the end of the date but you gotta take effective measures because she can also drop you as fast as a phone call.

LINDSAY: You might think that Lindsay has a fast blatter but she doesn't. She excused herself six times during the date and you're worried about her health. Lindsay doesn't like you and she would rather not even look at you. You can salvage the date but you have to do it through her bathroom breaks.

ZOE: Huh is her favorite word. You may think she has a hearing problem but look closer. Zoe is not listening to a word you're saying and she won't be for the rest of the date. She has made up her mind and has stuck with the idea that you are not right for her. There is still time to mend things but it's a lot harder when she isn't listening.

SUSAN: She looks like she's in a rush but did you noticed that before the date she took her time doing things? Susan is definitely not in a rush because she has somewhere to go. She's rushing because she can't take another minute of this date with you. She's not interested and she needs to evacuate the premises before her head explodes.

JENNY: You thought she was a smoker, well you thought wrong. Jenny's excessive fidgeting is from her disinterest in you. She may be bored but she's not rude about it. She's going to stick the rest of the date out and tell you that she had a great time. She will probably give you her number and go on another date with you but that's only to throw you off. Jenny is very much salvageable but don't try too hard.

Each of these ladies are great to have for dates, but the right guy must be around for her to stop these signs. If she's not either of these then you're good to go. If she has one or more of these signs try to salvage it before giving up. Don't be hard on yourself if she's not interested, there are plenty more fish in this big beautiful sea.